Duffx.com

On the streets of Tokyo:

New Friends

Oh, you know. Just bein’ worldly.

Oh joy. Waking up hungover on a Sunday afternoon, welcomed by a sight so incredibly dreary that it’s almost enough to depress even me:

This week's weather.

Come on, AccuWeather. Just lie to us.

So, my camera’s broken. I have to send it in for repairs.

Bear in mind, dear reader! Unless I work something out, this will be the last you see of me for some indefinite period of time.

That said, I insist you start playing the following song before looking at the picture.

Is the song playing? Ok, good.

Banana Phone!!

You know you’ll miss me.

In a bar in Hongdae…

Context is irrelevant.

So, when I returned to Korea, rather than being thoughtful, I mass-produced the same creepy “present” for all my Korean girlfriends.

Bananas!!

Now let’s just hope none of them know about this website. Because it is said that a picture speaks a thousands words, and though they may not speak English, in this case it’s pretty clear what happened.

“Ah, come on! It’s MARCH.”

Snow in March?!

“Bitches! It’s GLOBAL WARMING.“

I’M 13-16 HOURS IN YOUR FUTURE, STEALING YOUR ST. PATRICK’S DAY.

St. Patty's Day!

Then I looked around my house for more green things to include in this picture.

…and I’m convinced the guy who lived here before me was cheating on his girlfriend.

Either that, or he had a legitimate reason to stash an emergency toothbrush outside the bathroom window.

Problem: it’s cold out.

If you type on your BlackBerry, your hands freeze. If you wear gloves, you can’t type on your BlackBerry.

Solution: BlackBerry Gloves.

BlackBerry Gloves: Functional and Stylish

You know. It’s like the fingerless gloves of the 80s, except awesome.

If Time Magazine would like to reach me for inclusion in Best Inventions of 2010, they can do so at the email address pictured above.

So, I just arrived in Korea yesterday.

While I was in the States, SK Telecom cut off my phone service. Due to the Korean holidays, unfortunately I can’t get it restored until Tuesday.

Feeling socially crippled, I went to rent a phone. Fortunately the phone rental office happened to have a promotion going: free upgrade to iPhone.

The combination of these two factors resulted in the following: I am now officially the biggest douchebag on earth.

iPhone + BlackBerry = Tool

To top it all off: yes, I took this picture in Starbucks.

…but in all seriousness, this totally kicks ass.